Acheiving True Greatness in the Face of Insignificance and Mortality
DANIEL COLE AMEGAVIE, COURTESY, KUENYEHIA PRIZE FOR AFRICAN CONTEMPORARY ART, 2018. https://www.kuenyehiaprize.org
We are not infinite
We are not permanent
Nothing is immediate
And yet we pretend like we are immortal
We’re so comforted in our accomplishments
Look at our decadence
Today will soon be gone…
We've got information in the information age
But do we know what life is outside our convenient Tesla cages?
But life is still worth living, life is more than we are….
Switchfoot, Gone, (Owl City Version) 2023
In this past year, and particularly I swear I have become more morbid.
Maybe it's part of that phenomenon we call mid-life crisis.
I have been thinking recently a lot about two things, the Universe, and Death.
First the 'universe'. Over the past few years, I have heard a lot of talk about the universe, like it's some kind of living entity.
‘Don’t say that into the universe’
‘If you take that step, the universe will bend to your desire’
‘’The universe is conspiring in your favour’’
There is even a special term for this theory.
Pronoia.
But what actually is this universe we are talking about?
We live on a planet called Earth, all 8 billion of us. This planet is a small to mid-sized planet orbiting around a mid-sized sun which is just an ordinary star. Our sun is part of billions of other suns or stars which form our galaxy, which we call the Milky Way. The Milky Way is a galaxy which is just a small-sized galaxy in billions of other galaxies.
That is the universe we are talking about. Is this what will bend to my little tiny whim? I don't think so, somehow.
And then there is that thing called Death - most of us can expect to live for just 80-90 years, and then just cease to exist.
Combine these two things, and we kinda feel quite insignificant.
This is a truth we all know, and accept, at least in our heads, but I wonder whether that truth seeps into the crevices of our hearts and informs our every decision.
`But despite this truth, we all want to feel that in some way, our lives do matter.
And the truth is, yes, it does. All 8 billion of us, as well as the hundreds of thousands of people who enter this world, and who leave it every day.
Yes, our lives do matter. Each and Every one of us.
But as author Ben Horowitz writes: We need to live our lives like samurais, like death is around the corner. This thinking about death and our significant insignificance must inform our every decision, our every step.
I agree.
I think that the best way to achieve true greatness in light of this significant insignificance is broken down into 5 principles:
Our greatest joy in greatness only comes through service: As a leader, a husband, and a father, as I look back at my life, my greatest joys have come when I have been able to serve. Serving does not have always to be about big things but rather, should be ingrained into our lifestyle. A smile. A kind word. Make a cup of tea for your staff. The real way up is down. Why do we universally admire Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Theresa, and the Dalai Lama? Because they lived a truth that we consistently know. True leadership is service. True joy in leadership comes when we re-orient our hearts from trying to climb up the greasy pole of life, to helping people up that pole. And the key is re-orienting our hearts. Not our minds. There is one word for that: Motives.
True greatness only comes from serving with the right motives: As my friend, Gordon Field once told me recently: When serving, the real blessing comes when you do it with a smile without anyone seeing it, and you don’t care who gets the credit. I hold great admiration for someone I know because she does things (if you're reading this, you know who you are), the shitty jobs that no one likes doing, but nobody sees her do. Emptying the bins. Recording boring statistics. Filling in paperwork. Changing the toilet tissue when it runs out. The real test for motives is doing things for people wholeheartedly even though you know they can never pay you back, and when no one is looking.
We live our greatest lives if we have a transcendent attitude: In the light of what I just said about the universe, we live our best lives when we humbly realise we are a small part of a big pie and that we are not irreplaceable or immortal - the best thing we can do is leave this world better than we found it. We are keenly aware that our lives, our work, and our purpose are only complete as one big whole with others. Our best life is finding which part of the pie we fit into, and then giving it our all – intending to support others with their own slices for the greater good.
Staying (Slaying) in our lane: Taking pride in yourself is not a bad thing. Thinking you are awesome, brilliant, and doing well in life is great. The problem comes when you think you are something when you're not, when you compare yourself, for better or for worse, to someone else. Comparison is the big thief of joy. We look at people, and we envy them, but the truth is we envy the parts we like and ignore the parts we don’t. Do you see that guy with the six-pack and broad chest when you're working out in the gym? Well, he’s also mean and selfish. The overweight and obese leader you secretly laugh at behind his back? Well, he’s also kind, caring and considerate. We forget that everything comes as a package - both good and bad - that's why envy is so silly. (I'm talking to myself here...)
We could all do with some wisdom from British hip-hop superstar Aitch from his 2019 hit Close to Home...
... Pack your bag we got a ride
Ain’t my brother, you can't come if you won’t
You get a fraction of my life
But the rest, you don't know nothin’ so don’t act like you’re on course...
5. Rejoice that you are unique, NOT special: Yes, there is no one quite like you. You're unique, but that doesn’t make you special. Many people we call ‘successful’ have an advantage that most don’t: access to information, demographics, legacy, race, gender, sexual orientation, luck, and generational wealth.
I'm not saying we don't bear some responsibility for our lives. Of course, we do, especially our reaction to what happens to us.
But how do we define greatness, anyway? I once heard of a humble cleaner who had been in the same job for decades. She wasn’t rich or elite. But she loved her job. She took great pride in it. More than that, she had a special cabinet where she stored food, clothes and amenities that she bought out of her meagre salary, which she gave out to the homeless every morning before dawn when she cleaned. She became legendary in the community for her work ethic and kindness. But she remained a poor cleaner on minimum wage. Was she successful? Was she great? Did she leave a mark? Depends on how you define success or greatness.
But there’s one thing for sure. She slayed in her lane.
And in the light of the huge infinite universe and our finite mortality, maybe we should as well.
Whilst you're here...
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