Green Flag Pain: The Pain of Voices
The Sound Hunter – Self Portrait: Pascal Obinnu Ogwu – Finalist Kuenyehia Prize for Contemporary African Art 2023. Used with permission
‘’I told self-doubt ‘’You better watch your tone’’
Stop shouting down my line, like you gon; do sh@@!
You was my old friend by now we’re on some new sh@@!
Me and suicidal thoughts haven’t spoken for years
You know all my deepest secrets you know all my fears
Me and loneliness kick it from time to time
She knows the deal that I ain’t hers, and she’s not mine
I pray I don’t ever see your face again…
Stormzy: I Got My Smile Back, 2022
One day, we were driving to London for a day trip. On our way through a host of traffic lights, the driver suddenly lost his bearings and braked at a green light. He nearly caused a string of accidents as the cars behind him had to do the three 'S's Stop, Swerve (and Swear) to avert a collision.
As I wrote Pay the Price and categorised the four kinds of pain we all face, Red Flag Pain, Amber Flag Pain, Green Flag Pain and White Flag Pain, this story resurfaced back to my mind.
This story typifies what I call Green Flag Pain.
So what is Green Flag Pain?
I write in ‘Pay the Price:'
‘’Green Flag Pain is the suffering we experience as a consequence of heeding the voices of others and our own… it’s the universal pain that every entrepreneur encounters - and this pain arises when we pay attention to those voices and start to relinquish our dreams.’'
Regardless of the dreams we choose to pursue, there will always be three kinds of voices that speak to us in an attempt to discourage us:
Circumstances: The date was 23 November 2023. After more than 300 rejections for contracts in my business and a decade of effort, I found myself in debt by tens of thousands of pounds—bad partners, bad deals, and bad decisions.And the final nail in the coffin: a letter from the bank informed me that ‘Companies House has just written to notify us that your company, BlueCloud,Health has been struck off the register of companies…
I had to close the business I had worked hard at for a decade. I had failed as an entrepreneur. I felt like a failure, and the ‘’evidence’’ was there to show it. After ten years, ‘’circumstances’’ spoke loudly and clearly to me: I was a failure. Depression, anxiety, and an exacerbation of health issues followed, and the second voices begain...
2. Observers: ‘’
I told you going to study business after your pharmacy degree was a waste of time’’.
‘’Why are you being so greedy? Aren’t you content with the decent wage you get paid as a pharmacist?’’
‘’Who do you think you are, the next Steve Jobs?’’
‘’You are too soft and too gentle to be an entrepreneur, give it up’’.
‘’Stick to what you know best -being a pharmacist’’
These are real words from real people as they saw my repeated failures. And I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt. It hurt badly. Mainly because it was hard to argue with their logic. It had already been ''confirmed'' by the voice of ‘’circumstances’’. This led to the third voice that began to whisper in my ear..
3. The Voices in your head.
This song by the Grammy Award Band Switchfoot I’m listening to now summarises it well:
‘’ I start the day against the voices
The ones that tell me that I’m wrong
I hear them now
Screaming their delusions
I close my eyes, and they’re gone
In my mind I hear the voices
In my mind I have my doubts
Burning fears, these ghosts and apparitions
Only a whisper can drown them out, yeah
‘Cause everybody knows
The hardest war to fight
Is the fight to be yourself
When the voices try to turn you into someone else’’
Against the voices – Switchfoot, 2014
These voices are the ones you hear in your head: that you’re a failure, that what you’re planning won’t work. These are the hardest to ignore. But you need to remember, as I write in Pay The Price:
‘’These voices are not real. They are simply what they are – just voices – notes floating in the air. Remember this; otherwise, you will most certainly become part of the failure statistic.’’
If your foundations for starting your business, your dream, or your venture are not strong, you will listen to at least one voice that will bring you down.
What are those foundations? They are what I refer to in Pay The Price as your Honeymoon Period – the holy trinity of the three Ps: your Person, your Purpose, and your Passion.
Like the green traffic light I mentioned, if you listen and heed those voices, you will halt the pursuit of your dream - you will stop just as the lights begin to turn green - and you will crash your dream, just like our driver nearly crashed his car.
Don’t listen.
Pivot if you must, Wait if you can, but keep going.
1. Work with me. I can public speak, mentor, write, or consult. Visit www.stevenadjei.co.uk to get a taste, read what people say about my work, and holler at stevenadjei@me.com to chat. I'd also love some feedback on the above article.
2. Buy my book. You won't regret it. It's won several awards and has been a #1 Amazon best-seller in EIGHTEEN different categories in multiple countries. (https://amzn.eu/d/3rHZVFw)
If you already have, I'd love an honest review on Amazon. Reviews do help us out.:)
Please watch this space for information on my second book, Chasing Permanence, published by world-leading publishers Routledge.
3. Talk to me. I won't judge. My most vital values are empathy and resilience. As someone who's experienced much pain, I can help you overcome (or manage) your business pain and turn it into victory.
4. From 2025, this newsletter will have a more business-oriented tone in its articles in preparation for the release of my new book, Chasing Permanence. The audio version of Pay The Price and corresponding courses will accompany both books. Stay tuned.
Let's talk!
Rooting for you,
Steven.
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Thank you!
Steven
